Just like the pictures of mine above, you must see a lot of similar black-and-white photos of women on your Instagram feed. Is it some kind of a new trend? That's what I first thought because I don't really like jumping into trends especially with social issues. I know, it's good to spread positive vibes through online movements. But I question myself if I'm good enough to speak up such as,

This one question got me thinking about myself and reflecting on both personality and how I became a woman. And during the process that's still going on, I'd like to share my thoughts:

I was raised in a family full of many women. From sisters to nieces, and I surely can convince you how close I am with my mom that my close friends often made little jokes on it. But one thing they don't know, I actually have a second mom who is my mom's youngest sister and her other sisters. Probably, that is one of the reasons why my close friends are majorly girls as if I am genetically friendly with girls. So, I know exactly that women commonly have dramas and much sensitivity.

I mean, you surely have heard this saying, right? Female friendship is often much complicated. That's kinda true. Women are complicated because they use their brains but above all, emotions. But did you notice that being emotional or sensitive in feelings is actually our main point as women? Because we (eventually) notice something that men may not really notice.

For that, specifically on this #challengeaccepted, I absolutely concern this matter as a woman and my wish is very simple. I really hope women can act, decide, and say things after considering others' feelings. Not to be a people pleaser but to make sure we will not intentionally hurt and offense others as well as ourselves. Instead, be more appreciative of others and especially ourselves.

Because to be honest, I cannot imagine and understand how women can possibly give hard times to other women, like why should we do that among our own community? And why should we also give that same kind of hard times to ourselves as both women and human beings?

These words definitely note to me. Cause obviously, as everyone else has, I have also done many mistakes. A lot. Both consciously and unconsciously. As a victim and also a doer.

For that, I'm not sure if I've been a good woman so far. But one thing I can be so sure about: I am trying and then, as usual, I somehow fall. These issues of mine make me fall and this sounds like excuses from an elementary school girl, don't you agree? But you must agree with me that everyone, including you and me, has their own issues.

If we stop trying to fix ourselves as both women and human beings, I have only one question: aren't we guilty and heartbreaking enough for those women on the other side of this world? The Turkish women who got unfairly murdered and those women who cannot even attend school as they are forced to marry at very young ages because of traditions. They got no chance to dream and that's cruel.

Besides, in most cities like where I am, we also have other issues that could possibly stop women from dreaming: physical judgment, unfair blame on women, competition, bad words, bullying, sexual harassment, gossips, name-calling and many cruel things.

So I guess, reflecting the challenge and writing my thoughts on the issue got me slapped on my face to once again, try to think about some little happiness so I can be happy with myself and sincerely act happy with others in my own community. It's a real job of mine as I'm anxious about everything. Totally anxious. But don't you think that women are okay not to be okay? 

What is not okay, if we see other women as competitors and see them low for being who they are. This also applies if we see ourselves low. So, as I'm speaking to myself, why don't we try seeing ourselves as the rivals so we could try to be happier, mentally better, more improved in things and healthier every each tomorrow?

Let's try and fall and stand up again to try. It's okay to keep being in the cycle instead of giving up when you fall. This cycle could be one of the best things to be in, for ourselves and other women especially those in Turkey and on the other side of this world.

I believe if we do this, keeping ourselves in the cycle, we could eventually make a little chance: act, decide, and say things by considering others' feelings and of course, ours. As a result, our community of women will surely be supportive and respectful one another. So one falls, others help.

That's all from me. I accepted this challenge from my dear friend, Nadine Aquila (@nadaquila) and I kinda feel much expressive by doing here. I really hope these self-notes could at least be positive for everyone who is reading right now. Cheers!

"Time is ticking," said someone; and if you don't know what it means, it actually tells you to pay attention. Because life is exactly like a train ride. We sit in one corner randomly staring at how seasons changing through windows, and surprise, "did you just realize missing specific moments or any terminals when the train suddenly stops?" No, it never suddenly stops. It's us not realizing how time flies so fast. And this feeling gets you exactly when you get 28, as I just did.

But one thing to remind you first. This opening is not about telling you, I'm in a position not paying attention to moments during my 28 years of breathing the air. Well, maybe. But to be exact, it's about how 28 gives me such goosebumps, making me realize time surely slowly-yet-quickly walked me through the path. And looking back to those past moments of my journey, how come I just realized they became more beautiful than how I saw and felt in those exact moments?

It reminds me of a movie called About Time.

Have you watched it? Overall, it's about a guy named Tim, who is genetically able to travel through time. One time, his dad gives valuable advice to randomly travel back to any day in the past and do the same routine but with a different attitude, which is simply to enjoy any small things, like seriously just try to do it.

In curiosity, Tim travels back to one random day in the past and redoes the same routine as a lawyer: a day with waking up early, getting on a packed train, attending a seriously boring meeting, and going home lately simply to jump onto a bed, wake up and do the same things. Ugh! I know, routine, right?!

But in that movie, Tim "investigates" the comparison by doing the advice he's never done: try feeling the air, enjoying street-live music on a train, having a lil fun in the meeting, and hugging his wife when he comes back. The question, how about tomorrow? Well, I'm telling you, a routine might be the same, but the sky will always be different. That's my most favorite conclusion.

So now, here I am: me being 28.

I realized I should have done what Tim does in the movie. I mean, I confidently enjoyed some parts before getting 28 this day. But there must be some moments in the past I had been missing. Well, I'm a human being. As you do, I complain, I feel sad, I am down on specific situations, I easily get bored and these are parts of me being a normal human being. So, I am confident to admit I experienced those things. But at the same time, I realized I possibly missed some things. Maybe they were beautiful, valuable, or simple but too sad to miss just like that. I never know. That's the fact when someone missed some things, as I did.

What should I do? I'm not overthinking it. I simply comforted myself in these deep-reflecting thoughts of mine: it's okay.

"Learning is about paying attention to what you previously haven't. Second chances are eternal. So, I can always try now and tomorrows, make some lil efforts to try seeing how beautiful other missing parts in my own current and future scenes." 

So, dear myself in every 1 second later.

Remember to find something positive in everything including people. Be grateful and be proud of what you are doing. Above all, be happy for who you are, and where you are. Look at! The sky can be so beautiful, so enjoy it through your room window. People can be loud, but you may find at least one person who is calmly loud. The work is getting more hectic, but you can enjoy learning things to be who you truly wanna be.

In short, life can be messy but moments can be quite soft to enjoy. As RM said, "If you change your perspective a little bit, I know many people are going through tough times right now, but this moment could be the most beautiful moment of our lives." 

Society is something that we really cannot separate from our lives as social beings. It is definitely a very good thing because making friends with as many people as we can is incredible. However, as nothing is perfect in this life, it, unfortunately, contributes to creating such anxious feeling from meeting horrible people attacking us hatefully or simply coming from our minds comparing ourselves to other people's lives and physical appearances.

This is definitely one of the major issues in this society that must be brought up. Just like what BTS or Bangtan Sonyeondan has been doing since 2013. From their debut single No More Dream (2013) that overall talks about how to bravely live in our own dreams without minding people judging ours until the newest album Love Yourself: Tear (2018), that attracts me so much. Not only is the album so great musically but the meaning behind each song is so realistic, meaningful and it truly inspires people to love themselves including me.